My Dancer Needs More Confidence
Dancers can be SO hard on themselves!
If your child has ever come home from dance and said, “I’m not good enough,” you’re certainly not alone.
I think this is one of the biggest challenges young people face today. They’re constantly comparing themselves… not just to the other dancers in the room, but to dancers on social media, edited videos and highlight reels that don’t tell the whole story. It’s easy to look around and believe everyone else is more flexible, more talented or more beautiful than you are.
Comparison is natural. But left unchecked, it can steal the joy out of something that should be building confidence. It can even lead people to quit or feel unqualified to even try.
There isn’t just one kind of great dancer. In today's professional dance world there are all kinds of different dance styles and performance opportunities.
At FMD we try to make dancers aware of their various strengths. One dancer may be incredibly musical; another may have beautiful flexibility. Someone else may be fearless on stage and have exceptional performance presence. Some dancers learn choreography quickly. Others have incredible strength, powerful jumps or beautiful turns. Some simply have a work ethic that will carry them farther than natural talent ever could.
These are all amazing traits!
If every dancer looked the same, moved the same and performed the same, dance wouldn’t be interesting. It would be boring. It is my belief that this very much separates dance from sports. The goal is art. Art is always personal and affects different people in different ways.
We don’t want to create a room full of identical dancers... we want every student to discover what makes them special.
The reality is that very few children will become professional dancers. It is still a practice that will impact whatever career they choose. The point is getting stronger and learning to do hard things. Developing a healthy relationship with your body and learning to work well with others. Expressing emotion through movement.
Research continues to show just how powerful dance is for physical health, emotional well-being and brain development. Movement, music, memory and creativity all work together in ways that help people become stronger, healthier and happier. This is my favorite part!! I believe dance is an inherent right we have as humans. When we're happy, we dance. Moving our body in ways that feel good to us is something everyone can, and should, do.
As parents, I think we can help fight these classroom insecurities by showing enthusiasm for your specific child. Smiling with them at whatever seems to make them happy. Being surprised and impressed that they try these difficult things - removing any sense of judgement.
At Frances Mohler Dance, we keep classes small enough that every student is known. Every student deserves excellent training. Every student deserves encouragement and opportunities to grow.
No, every child won’t receive the exact same corrections, roles or choreography every time. Every dancer is different and every student matters here. If and when a child leaves FMD feeling down, I always want a parent to reach out. There's so much we can do to help if we are aware.
So if your child ever tells you they’re “not good enough,” or that someone else is better, please remind them that becoming a great dancer isn’t about becoming someone else!
It’s about becoming more fully yourself.
If you have questions about something that isn’t covered here, or you simply want another perspective, please reach out. Some of the best conversations I’ve had with parents have started with a simple question after class. I am constantly learning and would love to hear from you!